The other three are spared, but I don’t know why he singled out Mer-Man. The four bad guys return to see Skeletor and he’s not having it. Detective Lubic (James Tolkan) is on the case and despite this taking place in Jersey, it started to find its footing, BUT that fucking asshole cocksucker Gwildor is back in it. They team up with Julie and are now looking for the key. We get some fighting in Jersey with He-man and the good guys against Karg and that group. She picks some weird guy that looks like a sexual deviant named “Blade” and some white-haired fuck face called “Karg.”. I wish he was called “the artist formerly known as Mer-Man.” That would have been righteous if she introduced him as that. She chose a guy that must’ve been Mer-Man, but he had a different name. The group of bad guys that Evil Lyn chose is interesting. His big furry dong could have been bobbing around for all I know. Hell, he may not have been wearing panties at all. He probably doesn’t see the fucking point. I just realized that Beast Man also sports only panties. He-Man isn’t the only one wearing panties. If I had a laser gun, why the fuck would I have a sword? Perhaps they are trying to compensate for something.Įvil Lyn gathers a team to go to Jersey on behalf of Skeletor and I have to say that I was wrong. For such an advanced race, why do they have swords and castles on Eternia? This seems pretty odd all around. They find the key and Kevin thinks it’s some instrument and starts fucking with it, which gives Skeletor the coordinates of the key. She is planning on moving and leaving her boyfriend, Kevin (Robert Duncan McNeill) behind. In Jersey, Julie (Courteney Cox) works at a fast food joint and is still reeling from her parents dying in a plane crash. I have been to that shit hole twice and I would not go back and if Gwildor was now there, I would really hate that fucking state. They eventually have to use the key to escape and end up in New Jersey. Thankfully, he’s made two of them and He-Man wants to use it to get into Grayskull to save the Sorceress. He is a locksmith that has made something called “the key” that can open dimensional doors and Evil Lyn got her hands on it. He-Man, Teela and Man-At-Arms save Gwildor. Every time I see Gwildor I want to punch him in his ugly face. I think most people could get over the fact that this film did not take place in Eternia and that He-Man used a gun and wore panties all the time, but that little fucking annoying shit Gwildor sank this movie. Gwildor (Billy Barty) is the reason this movie failed 100%. I’m going to tell you why MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE failed more than any other reason. From what I can see, only He-Man is running around in panties, but he does have a cape. Why is He-Man in panties and everyone else is fully dressed? Man-At-Arms is all dressed up and has armor. A few weird things immediately stand out for me. Evil Lyn (Meg Foster) is in his corner and they are both very evil and mean. Skeletor has captured the Sorceress (Christina Pickles) and is holding her, awaiting He-Man’s arrival. If they did show up, they didn’t look much like the characters you knew and loved. If you had He-Man action figures, you wanted to see some characters in this and they were nowhere to be found. Frank Langella was cast as Skeletor and that turned out to be the best part of the film, but where they dropped the ball was the lack of attention to the source material. They checked a lot of boxes, casting ROCKY IV’s Ivan Drago, Dolph Lundgren, as the lead role and did a great job on the look of the film. With a budget of 22 million, it had some way to go to make it back and would only recover 17 million of it, and there is a big reason why. The action figures were so popular that it led to the production of MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE, a 1987 film that would lose some money and was partly responsible for putting Cannon Films out of business. I was 9 at the time, and I wanted to get them, but my mother kept buying me the knockoff cheap ass ones that you find at the grocery store that looked like a person with problems made them. The He-Man action figure line was started in 1983 and was a big deal.
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